Derby! Another goal! This time in right net! They'll get this footballing thing sorted in no time. Being a Bbbritish team, they only scored own goals to give the other chaps a Sporting Chance. That's the Bbbritish way!
What's that? Do I hear the other team is also Bbbritish?! Why yes! But Derby nevertheless were playing the game like gentleman in giving away two goals! Sporting I tell you! There are no suggestions of Ineptness or lack of talent whatsoever. Such scurrilous rumours are dismissed magnificently. The Derby coach only looked Woebegone and sighed greatly because of the riot police protecting his highly skilled players from emotionally vexed members of the public who were not real Derby fans, because no real Derby fan could help but admire the expertise and Bbbritish precision of their gallant Own Goals!
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